Friday, August 3, 2012

"To Help You I Must First Fall Down" Preface

The Feeling of Indigence 



When I was a little girl, I felt like I was on top of the world when my parents took me to the big city. All the tall buildings, the bright, flashing lights, the sound of honking taxis gave me this feeling of eminence, like everything in the world was happening right here, at this very time and place. And it was all happening around me.
            Thirty years later, this feeling ceased to exist. Somewhere along the long and winding road of my life, I was plucked from the center of the world, and thrown into the heavy flow of it. Here, I was drowning, struggling to stay alive and keep my head up and out of the rushing waters. Everything in my life flew by me without much notice, let alone attention to detail. I didn’t meet many people, for all the ones I saw were just like me; struggling, letting everything float right by them.  No matter where I looked, I saw living memories of what life was like before. Just when a flicker of hope would ignite, the current would rush by and blow it right out. There was no hope, no possibilities of security and happiness, only the surging water of the world. This is the feeling of indigence.

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